Monday, October 17, 2011

Letters To Alejandro # 1

My Dearest Alejandro,
They say the love that lasts the longest, is the love that is never returned. It has been two years since you walked down those stairs and said goodbye. Two years since I last saw your face. Two years that I still haven't been able to get you off my mind. 

Two year since this un-returned love has lasted.

It was late June 2009. I was only nineteen. Summer was  just arriving as you left. We had spent the Winter in the Caribbean, soaking up the sun, and working on our tans. We fell in love. Or at least it sure felt like it. I still clearly remember sitting with you underneath the warm Caribbean night sky watching the moon trying to out beam the sun, listening to the waves fall into each others arms, and the single red rose you'd left for me that night at the foot of my bed. Alejandro, you were the closest I'd ever gotten to a fairytale and now two years later...I just don't want to give it up. Falling in love with you was easy, you made it easy...but falling out is crippling. Like making someone crawl, when they've already learned how to walk.

Guys have come and gone, and I've felt a glint of what could possibly be love, but never fully let myself get there. I sent them on their way, and forgot about them, over a few weeks time, sometimes it took longer. But you were always there, on my mind. Wondering where you were, and what you were thinking, what grand adventures you were having, and who you were having them with. Have you thought of me often? I understand if you haven't.

The biggest part of me wants you out of my mind, out of my heart, out of my bones, and I even get angry at myself thinking of you, remembering you. Missing you. Alejandro, I'm not sure there is a point to this letter, I am not writing you to ask you to come back to me, nor am I writing you telling  you that I am finally moving on, I am simply writing you to tell you that I still love you, I still love you and I hate myself for it everyday. And that I miss you.
Been missing you since the second you left.

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