It's nearly 6 am, the sun is beginning to rise and still I haven't slept one wink. This past day and a half has felt more like weeks. I have spent half the night at the hospital and the rest of this morning here, at home with my older sister and my mother; digging through tubs of photographs. Searching for photos...photos for the wake. My grandfather passed away at exactly 11:30pm last night. And I begin to feel sick to my stomach thinking that less than 24 hours ago I was talking to him about my recent trip to Mexico, he'd asked about the food I ate there (he loved food) "Did you eat a lot of beans out there?" I hear him asking in his goofy old voice. And my mind begins to drift off... To somewhere happier... Now It's nearly 11 pm. It's still Monday. And I have spent the day here at home with family, with my sisters, aunt, cousins, mother and my grandmother. We spent the day in, like crabs, only opening the door for more family members or to le
Ernesto mi querido, Do you remember those few nights we'd spent in Cancun? Like honeymooners, like lovers, like best friends. Laughing the past few horrible days that were behind us away. Diving down towards an endless sea. Laying lazily underneath the fiery Caribbean sun, singing and howling, dancing and falling in love. The mornings were ours to waste away in each others arms, the nights; spent listening to the waves' resentment. Our last night together you'd left a single red rose at the foot of my bed. Sheets all tucked away quietly; you and your smug smile greeting me cheerily knowing I'd seen it. Knowing I'd felt the same way. Though we both knew we were to part soon. To return back to reality. Ernesto those lazy mornings and endless nights are all I think of, they seem almost mythical now. Like a dream, and waking up is a nightmare. I long for days like those again. Days like you.
He'd told her. He'd finally told her. "I am falling in love with you. And I wish I could find time, more time for you, stuffed in my backpack or underneath the grit of my fingernails, like the change I find in my pockets. I can't keep pretending. Acting like this feeling is non existent. It's been howling out at me for much too long now. I've tried to play cool. To keep calm and brush it off. And then. Those eyes." He'd said "It's those eyes that have brought me here, those eyes that tell me stories for days, those eyes that both mend and break my heart all at once. And I'm standing here now, like a fool with my heart strewn out across the floor before you. Because I don't want to go another day. Another minute, knowing that you're not mine to keep, knowing that I'm keeping this truth from you." ,
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